Foxfire this, Foxfire that. Like everything I do is a problem, and everything I do is made into a problem just for me!
Okay, so just now I was shut back in here again. Same old toilet, bath, Basin AND litter tray. I mean come on, they know I hate it here! But what do they do? Shut the door. Slam. Click. Locked. No escape. Sure, maybe a little tap on the nose, but this is unbelievable. All I did stretch my lovely claws on the TV speaker! In case they haven't noticed, the scratching post is downstairs. Why should I go all that way when the TV works just the same? You'd think I did something TERRIBLE!
This isn't the first time today that I've been shut in here. They keep punishing me, but what they don't realize is the fact that they are the cause of all the trouble. To begin with, Tuna is food for cats, not scrawny old humans. Of course I'm going to have a nibble if you leave it on the table, isn't that what you put it there for?
But I guess not. Back to the prison we go.
Next up, I'm sitting next to the human, obediently purring when being prompted (whenever the human strokes me). Anyway, so I get tired right? Why should I have to walk upstairs to go and tire myself out even more. And how was I meant to know that what I fell asleep upon was the fresh laundry. And can I be blamed for the fact that I left ginger hairs all over it? No, so stop acting like it is!
Guess where I went, back to prison!
The humans seriously seem to expect me to know everything. All I wanted to do was look out the window to spy on those stupid dogs next door. But no! I can't help it that the path to the window leads across the computer space. And how was a meant to know that it was something important that was due in tomorrow? It wasn't like I MEANT to step on the delete key anyway!
Back to prison. And by this time it really is a bore!
This is really not my fault. If you want my signature on some stupid birthday card you can have it. But seriously, was there any need to jam my paw onto the card? That hurts, so DUH I'm going to start running. And if you have a problem with the paw prints I left in my wake, then don't sent any daft cards. Moron!
And lets not say ANYTHING about the dreaded bath I was forced to endure after wards. Lets just say that I hate water, and anyone who attempts to force it on me will receive a nice slap, claws included!
So just go ahead and put me in prison again. See if I care!
And the incident that landed me here now? Wanted a nice view, climbed up the bar, knocked a few things over in the process and got sent back to prison after being yelled at by the humans for knocking over the expensive wine.
And so, here I am. In prison. As always.
Ain't life just great?